Are You a Barnacle? (Asking for a Friend... or Myself)

If friends are at the show to support you, be sure to show your appreciation. Better yet, return the favor!

We spend countless hours training, planning, and paying top dollar just for a few precious minutes in the show ring. For many of us amateurs, horse show weekend isn't just a competition; it’s our highly anticipated escape—a chance to focus on our passion and recharge away from the daily grind. We arrive seeking focus, fun, and maybe a little help from friends. Unfortunately, this community spirit sometimes attracts certain individuals who mistake camaraderie for a free, personal support staff. Lately, it feels like a few of these, shall we say, "barnacles" have latched onto the shared experience.

What's a Barnacle, You Ask?

A barnacle, in horse show terms, is that person who's always asking for a leg up, a hand with tack, someone to hold their horse, or an extra pair of hands. But somehow, when you need a favor, they're mysteriously invisible, suddenly busy with an urgent text, or just…gone. It's the equestrian equivalent of a one-sided relationship, and frankly, it's exhausting.

Give Others Space

Remember why many of us adults are at these shows. Some of us just spent 60 hours staring at a computer screen, in endless meetings, and on conference calls. We are desperately seeking a mental break. We've paid good money—often thousands of dollars—for this experience, and sometimes that experience involves a bit of peace and quiet, focusing on our own horse, or simply enjoying the atmosphere without feeling obligated. We may not have the mental capacity to deal with someone else's nervous chatter or constant demands. If someone's keeping a low profile, respect that. They're not being rude; they're unwinding. We all need our space, especially in the summer heat when juggling horses, kids, and remembering multiple courses. Also, if somebody generally avoids you at shows, there's probably a reason for that.

Need Help? Get Creative and Compensate!

If you truly do need help, that's completely understandable! Shows are a lot. However, don't pile on the requests when a person agrees to do one thing. By all means, do not ambush—plan ahead. Unless you came to the show together or planned ahead of time to help each other out, that initial "yes" should not become an invitation to continue adding additional requests of that person's time. They are not likely at the show for you, so be respectful.

Instead of expecting your fellow exhibitors to drop everything (including their own horses or children in the scorching heat) because, say, your spouse isn't around or supportive, consider other options:

• Hire a personal assistant! If you require a consistent, dedicated helper for your show days, investing in a professional is a great solution.

• Consider paying a barn kid! Seriously. There are always eager teenagers looking to make a little extra cash. They're often reliable, happy to help, and it teaches them the value of their time and effort. This could also be a great way to foster the next generation of riders by giving them valuable show experience and a little income, helping to keep kids involved in the sport. If you need this level of assistance, consider paying a kid.

• Bring a non-showing friend! Someone who can truly be your dedicated assistant for the day without the stress of their own competition.

• Team up strategically. If you do plan to help each other, make it a clear, mutual agreement beforehand, not a last-minute ambush.

As we head into our annual finals show, let's find ways to keep our show days fun, supportive, and free of unnecessary stress. We're all in this together, but a little self-sufficiency (and respect for others' boundaries and time) goes a long way!